Bitter chocolate.

Have you waited so long for something that you can't think about anything else? You want it so bad that everything else pales in comparison?

And when you get it, it doesn't feel that great.

Bitter chocolate.

Blow your candles out

20 already. Now what?

I'm a year older, none the wiser.
I'm with a boy madly in love with me.
Trying to recover from what I think is being dumped by your bestfriend.

Is that possible?

He doesn't call.
Doesn't reply to my messages.
Doesn't answer my questions.
We don't talk and reminiscence anymore.
No more 'no-you-disconnect-first' calls.

I got dumped.
For the first time.

By my best friend.

Happy Birthday to Me.

older.

It's my 20th birthday tomorrow.

I'd like to say I was looking forward to it, but I can't bring myself to say it. No presents, no big birthday, no being the center of everyone's attention. Secretly, those are the birthday's I enjoy.
I try to appear calm and completely unfazed but it's killing me! I spent 9 years in boarding school, celebrating birthday's only with the girls or with meager melody sweets, for lack of options.
And now when I have the chance to go all out and have the time of my life, I have absolutely no will to!
I've turned into one of those weird people who I used to speculate about on end trying to figure out why they were so lonely and sad.
I wish I had made the effort to find out then.

Because I don't know what's wrong with me.